Coparenting through the holidays can be difficult.  Emotions are high as well as expectations. We all have the picture in our head of the perfect family holiday and usually our family is just not measuring up to our picture.  High expectations often lead to resentment. Many children of divorce have come to hate the holidays or their birthday, because it is just a day their parents use to fight over them.

The holidays can be a uniquely challenging time for families who are adjusting to life after divorce. Now that you and your co-parent are working from separate households, holidays often mean balancing your own expectations, your extended family’s traditions, and your children’s needs.

If you’re going through a divorce or are already divorced, then you know how challenging co-parenting during the holidays can be.

Coparenting through your first transfers of your children with your coparent can be one of the most painful times of life.  You didn't expect this or necessarily want it, but there goes your child in their car and now you sit alone.  Sometimes you can still hear your child crying or laughing.... And you just sit in your car or at your home and weep.  I want to remind you it will not always be like this.  You will find hope again.  Divorce is not the final answer to your family.  Hope can be found again! As a Coparenting Counselor, one of the most difficult and frustrating issues for coparents is often transitions (drop offs/pick ups) and schedule making and changes.

Coparenting Counseling will not heal the pain and hurt YOU FEEL from your divorce. You will need to do your own recovery and therapy for that to happen (and I hope that you do!), but Coparenting Counseling can be helpful in building a new relationship with your coparent. For kids of divorce, they have enough pain to deal with just getting over their family ending. Adding constant fighting to that pain is just not fair. For their sake, I urge you to get help if you need it, so your kids learn that divorce is NOT the final word to their family, as they knew it.  There is hope for a new future and while their parents are no longer married they can get along, so everyone can move forward and have a better future.

 Perspective in our circumstances is everything, especially in coparenting.  For the custodial and non-custodial parent each position comes with its unique challenges and often times we can only see our perspective.  However, having knowledge of the other's perspective can help change our perspective.

The temptation in coparenting is to believe that the grass is always greener on the other side and all the crap is in YOUR part of the pasture. The reality is that coparenting is hard on either side of the fence as a custodial or non-custodial parent.  A custodial parent has the most physical time with the child and cares for the child in regard to the day-to-day decisions.  A non-custodial parent is one who does not have primary physical custody but can still have legal rights and should play an important part in their life.