The Clitoris: Understanding What You Can’t See
At Sparrow Counseling, we believe that education is a key part of building healthy, confident relationships—especially when it comes to sexual health and anatomy. One of the most misunderstood and under-discussed parts of the body, particularly in sexual education, is the clitoris. Many people think of it as a small external nub, but in reality, it’s much more than what we can see.
Let’s talk about what the clitoris really is, why it matters, and how understanding it can help improve intimacy and connection.
Beyond the Surface: The Full Structure of the Clitoris
When we refer to the clitoris, most people picture the visible part—what’s known as the glans clitoris, located just under the clitoral hood at the top of the vulva. While this part is certainly important, it’s only the tip of the iceberg.
The clitoris is actually a much larger, internal organ that plays a central role in sexual pleasure. It includes:
The Glans: The visible external part, packed with nerve endings.
The Clitoral Hood: A fold of skin that protects the glans.
The Crura: These are the “legs” of the clitoris that extend down along the pubic bones.
The Bulbs of the Vestibule: Internal structures that sit on either side of the vaginal opening.
This whole structure is composed of erectile tissue, which swells with blood during arousal—just like a penis. In fact, while the clitoris is about an eighth the size of a penis, it contains twice the number of nerve endings, making it incredibly sensitive.
The Clitoris Has One Job: Pleasure
Here’s a powerful truth we want to emphasize: The clitoris exists solely for sensation and pleasure. It has no reproductive function. That means its only job is to help people feel good, and that’s something to be celebrated and understood—not ignored or overlooked.
Unfortunately, due to limited or inaccurate sex education, many people don’t learn about the full anatomy of the clitoris. This can lead to confusion, frustration, or even shame around sexual experiences. When we don’t understand how the body works, it’s harder to feel confident asking for what we need—or offering pleasure to our partner.
Why This Matters in Relationships
Understanding the full anatomy of the clitoris changes how we think about stimulation, arousal, and intimacy. Because so much of the clitoris is internal, touch and stimulation don’t need to be limited to the visible glans. In fact, activities that stimulate the entire vulva—including the inner labia and areas around the vaginal opening—can also stimulate the clitoral bulbs and crura.
This means that partners can engage in a wider range of touch that is pleasurable and connective. It also invites more intentional, communicative exploration during intimacy.
When partners have this knowledge, they can move away from guesswork and toward collaboration—talking more openly about what feels good and how to stay emotionally and physically connected.
Rewriting the Narrative Around Pleasure
At Sparrow Counseling, we’re passionate about helping individuals and couples break away from limiting beliefs around sex. The cultural narrative often centers intercourse as the main event—but for many people with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is essential to sexual satisfaction.
Understanding the clitoris means we can expand our ideas about what intimacy looks like. It’s not about performance or pressure—it’s about connection, trust, communication, and yes, pleasure.
Let’s Normalize These Conversations
We know it can feel awkward to talk about sexual anatomy and pleasure, especially if you didn’t grow up in an environment where those conversations were encouraged. But the truth is: learning about your body or your partner’s body is an act of care. It’s about building intimacy from a place of knowledge, curiosity, and mutual respect.
Ready to Explore These Conversations Together?
If you and your partner want to feel more confident, connected, and informed when it comes to sex and intimacy, we’re here to help. Our therapists at Sparrow Counseling in Birmingham, AL, are trained in sex therapy and passionate about creating safe, affirming spaces for education, growth, and healing. To get started, follow these three simple steps:
Reach out to Sparrow Counseling for a free 15-minute consultation.
Be matched with a caring, experienced sex therapist.
Let’s talk about what matters to you—and start building the intimate connection you deserve.
Other Services Offered at Sparrow Counseling
At Sparrow Counseling we offer in-person and online therapy in the state of Alabama. In addition to sex therapy, our team specializes in couples therapy, couples intensives, discernment counseling, family therapy, divorce & family mediation, coparenting counseling, and more in Birmingham, Alabama. Learn more by checking out our FAQs and Blog!
